he's leaving

the news came by as a shock.. i still cant believe it.. just as we strt to patch things up again.. you're leaving. why? why are your parents desperately want u away...? i just dont get it.

i need u..
u know that.
but now ur leaving me

12th october egypt.

great. can this get any better.
we dont get to celebrate raya together..
u only have a few days before raya then u leave
im afraid i might not be able to see u.

im afraid things get so bad..
im afraid to loose u

i love you sufyan

u cant go.
just not...not now
i need u

you'll be gone for 5 years
i dont think
things are going to be like it is now
im scared u might change

shots of people ; nikon d60

so the first shot was a pic of my cousin, diyana, second my dearly beloved mother. caught her picture off guard.. she didnt like it as she complains her pore as so visible.. hmm.. theres always photoshope.. and the 2 pics below is my cousin and her lil friend shot at a bday party. they had this sweet white dresses on. well so young so innocent eyh.. :)

bertudung xD

so yeah. some reunion.. something to do with highschool.. explains why everyone had tudung on.. incase you dont know, all schools in jb tundung is a must wear thing.. hmm. its just the rules.

so yea this event was held at bluewave grand hotel.. well not so grand. could be a 3-stars hotel.

theme was retro& casual.. i dont get the specific theme.. but yea i only had bju kurung on.. i had a long sleeve shirt and pants on before but changed it last minute coz i thought.. well mommy thought it wasnt appropriate for highschool event.. so had to change it..

everybody looked rather nice tho.. so bright and colorful. yea some had make up failure but im always the one who comes to the rescue.. teehee

well all and all.. the event was ok ok laa. some point it was rather boring. ainul was like so unorganised.. pathetic though. but we all give crdit to her since she tried so hard and making this lil lunch work..

saturday fever!!

i love you guys muchhhhh muahxxxxxxx :*
yes after the event and dead tired and very happy indeed

fifa at the back and keena and i at the front :))

this is me with darling fifa. i wonder why she likes to make her eyes as big as a fish when we take pictures. ahaha but yet still purdy. this was after the dancing and the show.. fincally over yet looking uber pretteyhh :P forgive me for the brag-ness

this is me on the way home.. teehee for a wedding plak daaa rush rush.. darling cousins

getting married and i'm not dressed yet.. oh well make up is there and done already

me and tired looking darling keena after the parade. i'm still up for some shots haha

so yes, once again another exciting moment to remember. we got ourselfves involved in the "Kembara Mahkota Parade" for pesta flora and fauna and it was awesome. there was thousands of people and well yes many people and kids... took part in this lil event. it was fun though we didnt have much fun to begin with. guess some people dont have any dancing expeiences and happened to do this first time in their life... kindda difficult and annoying when they cant keep up and we had to make the whole dancing choreographer slow... blaaah! ...
but at the end of the day it was fun fun fun :) i didnt like our costume.. well the hat is just trashy.. we were kindda a fashion victim but who cares, it's a costume. and we rocked as the flower girls teeheeee ^-^ oh did i mention we had to wake up dead early to get ready make up and stuff.. 4 am!! i woke up at 2 coz we had to be at the spot at 4 am sharp!!! damn it was crazy! heee.

we prepared dead early and waited to perform more than 4 hours til i' our turn. lasted for 3 minutes but it was worth waiting for... hee..

though it's a shame we didnt really get to be on tv much.. yes.. except for that "lucky" hat... nasib topi tinggi and berkilat kilaattt...

for love sake

so again, i havent been active surfing the net except myspace. thinking of doing facebook again when i get all my pics together :)

class finishes late everyday starting tomorow. damn it. kalo best takpe. cam taik. :(

my love life is going great. yada ada yada yada

though last saturday the day ended bad as i got into with my now a fight with my boyfriend.. actually we had a fall out 3 times that day. but the third time was the worst. i admit it was my bad. i screwed up. oh did i cry and cried.i took the situation and handle it in a really bad way. i even ate those sleeping pills more than a normal person would take. i kindda overdosed and my heart beat beated faster than ever. i never cried because of a boy but i admit i loved him. so i did and i got angry at myself. i know i havent been telling the truth lately eventhough i promises we would trust each other. it's kindda hard. but after the incident at pangs shop last saturday and when my boyfriend actually flipped out at me. i realised he really does love and care for me. only that i was in this dilemma. im trying to change but it takes time.

so sunday, i went and have a talk with my boyfriend and he comfort me and we had a talk about trust and honesty and how we'er going to work out in the future. i really love him. i never loved anyone and we're serious about each other. i know he is for sure.

it was really hard for me to move on from the pass. i was in a really bad depression, drugs and pots. mom got me into this therapy shi but it didnt work at first then she sent me to this pshycologist whtsername.. and i guess i got ok after some time.

now that i'm involved with my boyfriend i'm happy. a girl should deserve to have her heart treated like a princess. some who knows how to take care and bring happiness to her. i'm getting it now. it seem so.

:)

hello

so i havent written for a while. thing is that i'm always too busy doing i-dont-know-what and i just canat be bothered getting my butt online. maybe coz i go out and hey, i have a life.

currently listening to leona lewis and my brother poor guitar playing. making my eardrums tickle slightly. i just got back from the gym.

i'm on holiday but class is starting this monday. so back to busy busy and actually yes i'll be busy. it's law we're talking about no play play anymore. i just got back from the gym. it's been awhile i last work out. ok... it's been forever i havent work out till today. can't believe i sweat my whole body today. teehee. my boyfriend. kindda find it sexy when i told him over the phone haha
so meeting him tmro and cant wait coz i miss him terribly and it's been awhile since we last spend time together

so it's the second week and it's finally the holidays. hmm pretty quick i should say since i just started getting back to studying. i'm drowned with assignments and lots and lots of presentation after the holiday. guess the lecturers really kept us all busy during the hols. i mean yea, we had a long break of complaining how bored we are, nah! amik kau, lecturer dah kasi assignmnts!!

havent decided yet if we're going for the movies tonight. i miss spending time with dearest mom and having a good time at the mall.shop shop. we havent done it for quite some time now since everybody hardly see each other. i kindda miss it. this is what happens when everybody is so caught up with work or school or wtv and they forget that they actually have a family. i know mom is planning on going tmrow or tonight but i insist of going tonight since i have made plans with my friends. hmmmmm

last week was the shuffle competition event at city square. i spent the whole day there. not a big fan on shuffle shit now than before. i guess i kindda grew out of it. but i'm still into the whole cheerleading and dancing spirit :P i know i'm an awesome dancer than those kids trying hard on stage but i dont want to brag about it. ha-ha.

the chronicles of narnia; prince caspian. the movie wasnt as good as the first one i got to admit. i watched it last week though i wasnt concentrating much on it since the theater was dead freezing and .... i couldnt having feel my fingers. i would rate the movie 4 out of 5. maybe i have to watch it all over again.

the latest indiana jones is out. maybe we might go and watch it tonight at tebrau city. pretty excited. shia la beouf is a hottie with a capital O. oooh yeaaah

other than that, yes i think i'm in love. i'm not sure. it's that time of still getting to know each other deeper..

fallen angel

i know them angels are out somewhere. one day one will come and rescue me from all the bad things that had happened. i plead for it to come. and take me.

the new beginning

it's like stepping into a whole new world. only i see some familiar faces which i'm glad to seee. taking pre-U a-levels is a challenge really- especially when the subjects taken is beyond your expectation. and then there's degree and master and pHd? whosh. seems like i've taken my mind a lil too far already. hee

so made a few new friends. non of them seems cute enough for my liking haha. but however, they seemed like the people you're glad to meet.

yesterday was the last day of orientation. glad it was over. i had to be the host for the closing ceremony. i kindda blew but it's all forgiven. haha. mind me, it is a first time thing :l

so we re-unite once more. though at one point, i thought of puking whenever i see their faces. ha-ha. but now i'm glad. my bestfriend is here with me. but most have gone. nope, not that they died. just went for different places to study. which made me wonder how they are now. weird how i still miss my friends back in highschool. lol. maybe coz they were my everything and the most appreciative people i know.

class is starting next week. i'm sure it's going to be tough as we were given a brief about the subjects we take. i know mine is tougher than ever so i figured that i have to change myself an start to not take time for granted. no more playing and i think focusing on my future is more important at this point-so i've been told

and about guys, hurm i think i have to really focus more on my studies than them. this may sound as typical as anything, but having so many guys around me sometimes drives me up the walls. not that it's a bad thing but sometimes confusing.

well put them aside shall we.
even my so-called "love life" is not going anywhere and for some reason, i couldnt care less

frequent dreams

it's always that same dream
same place and same situation
everyone is just the same.

Aberdeen, Scotland, Gordon Barracks to be exact. pretty much where i grew up. oh my, i love growing up there. you have no idea how much i love growing up and having lots of friends from different countries and races. i was always the boss and the troubled kid who always end up kicking the ball at neighbors windows ha-ha i remember alot from the pass. and how i get scold by some woman whos brain was in the drain heh.

it's always that dream i have
dreaming of Gordon Barracks, how i knock on Binan's door and would see her countless siblings everywhere in her little cottage.

i would dream of gordon barracks alot but it's not the same anymore. it's quite. too quite. but my friends were there. i dont know why. even though gordon barracks was my home and we moved but i always end up having a dream of gordon barracks and play with my friends. and how i always knock on my friends door to call them out for a water fight every summer, snow ball fights every winter, making sunflower chains during spring and throwing dead leaves at each other in autumn.

i really miss them
-everything
i really do
:(

beautiful aint it?

si kura kura

ar yea i bought two tortoise today. but i only own one of them. i shall call it turtle. i thought of calling it michael angelo but .. nah!!! it's too long for a slow poke. isnt it just adorable. i love tortoise. i would like to own an orang hutan aswell but my mom wouldnt let me. heh. dont know what's her problem. guess the house is already a zoo.

what's left of highschool

just some random photos back in the days of highschool. SMKTDS,JB is where i went. erm nope it's not an all-islamic school, it's just that all muslim girls must wear a "tudung" to school. it's the school rules that goes to all schools in JB. absolutely miss the moments in highschool. the dramas, the wars and the gossips.

[click to get a better view, while you're at it. try to find me lol]

oh my god, i just realized that i'm much more nerdy than i am now
*blushes*

SMKTDS,JOHOR BAHRU

SPM CANDIDATES 2007

memories worth keeping

<3

you guys were equally annoying and will be missed

sekolahku

had a good bowse through youtube and i found this. afdlin shauki and harith iskandar made my day. salute:D

haha. so kids. Physical Education IS IMPORTANT!!!! so have a good laugh. well i think it was funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbCY0v2m1x4

flashback

awww &&& yet it never happened *humming* ha-ha

berasmara

random photos

some random shots taken last year during my period of time in highschool. tickles me how my friends can play a part in the whole picture taking process and most of it was candid pictures.

everybody comes in different packages

i wouldnt say i'm fat or skinny either but i have curves!!!!
ha-ha

so eat healthy and live healthy ye kanak-kanak :D

kalo rasa diri tuh gemuk rajin2 la bersenam sekurang-kurangnye 10 minute setiap hari :)
hik hik